Marry for Love and Money

By Bahiyah Shabazz, MBA

When two people come together they love, honor and respect their finances. Men and women are wired differently when it comes to managing and securing money.

Wooden Wedding Bands made out of Black Ebony a...

Men are more risk takers while defining themselves and basing self-esteem on the size of their accounts and pocket change. Women want security when it comes to love and money. You will find women putting money away for a rainy day, girls night or an emergency fund.  This is not to say that men are oblivious to saving it only means that the two genders view money differently.

Marriage brings two…together

When two become one it is in love, responsibilities and finances. As much as many couples would love to think “What’s mine is mine and yours is yours” it doesn’t always happen that way.

Fighting over money and family assets has ruined many marriages, and a new study offers one insight into why finances can be such a contentious issue. When they look at the same data, many husbands and wives disagree significantly over the extent of the family’s income, wealth and debts.

Husbands typically think the family income and wealth are greater than their wives think they are. And wives think the family debt is greater than their husbands think it is.

And both husbands and wives tend to think their spouses earn less than they say they do.

Simple communication and disclosure can rectify the arguments over financial dilemmas.

Show me you love me; show me the money

Just as “actions speak louder than words” so does a credit report. It’s so easy for everyone to express how much they are in love. It’s more difficult to perform acts of kindness when you don’t have income or credit to do so. No one saying that you must buy your partner’s love to show how much you care, but when the time comes to marry, purchase a home and furnish it you will have to demonstrate the goods.

You will do a great service to yourself and partner by cleaning up your credit before saying ‘I Do’. How unfair is it to become deeply involved in a relationship to find out that you are marrying a person with $125K worth of debt. Talk about negative assets!! You’re digging out before you can build a foundation.

It’s not shallow of anyone to involve finances in the discussion of their future. The conversation is equally important as love.

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“Love yourself enough to support yourself.” BLShabazz


2 thoughts on “Marry for Love and Money

  1. Clearing up finances is a very good idea but in some circumstances it may not be possible. It must not be ignored that you must consider your own attitude and the attitude of potential life partner’s attitude to marriage, although the latter is difficult.

    However be upfront about your finances and this can be a good foot in the right direction. You can both decide what you want to do before you tie the knot. At the very least, talk it out before marriage, Once you cross that bridge you can discover some terrible attitudes to money that you cannot go back on. Marriage is an eye opener. If there is agreement before marriage, couples can come to an amicable conclusion. I know of a couple who were able to rebuild the credit of the one party once they had married and joint finances together. Spiritual wisdom can go a long way in a joyful marriage.

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